Currently Spinnin': "You're Gonna Make It" - Visible From Space

Quote: "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

Every once in a while I'll hear a song and then I'll remember. Those feelings will sweep over me, taking me back to when times were just so wrong. Then "Walang Hanggang Paalam" will find its way to my conscious mind and calm me down. It's so weird living like things are ok, then in a split second I would remember. Memories are supposed to help you, not hurt you. I don't cry as much but my eyes still well up and that funny feeling in my throat tickles to get me to cry out. I don't know whether I should just let it out or be strong. I don't know what's best anymore. I'm tired of pretending that things are ok when deep inside I'm still hurting. It doesn't feel right anymore. I know he's been trying to tell me that he's ok, but somehow I need more affirmations to convince my stubborn soul. Why can't he just come back? Why can't time just rewind itself and erase that from happening and let him live?

I hate 2005. I've always been looking forward to this damn year, but now I just wish that time didn't fly by so fast...

Who would've realized that "everyday life" is a big ol beeyahtch? *Shakes fist towards the world*

I wanna do better and make him proud. I can't disappoint him. "I'll be everything you taught me..."

"Ako'y walang hinihiling
ika'y tila ganoon din
sadiya'y palayain ang isa't isa..."

I'm tired of these charades. I'm stressed out and no one will believe me. I don't know how I'm going to make the rest of this year go well. I really do have the weirdest way of showing that I'm stressed out. I tend to shout more and be a little obnoxious. =/. It may look like I'm having a good time on the outside but I'm really crying on the inside b/c I don't want to release that side. I'm supposed to be living on the memory, but I can't help but go through the "what ifs" and "whys". =/